The Querying Process: A Play in Gifs Starring Ichabod Crane

The process of querying is a tumultuous one. Writing a single draft of a novel alone is enough to send us screaming back to the cubicles from whence we came. The idea of polishing said draft into something that is legible, intelligible, and altogether tolerable is another hurdle entirely. Sending it out into the world can be a bit like a parent watching their child leave for college for the first time. Exciting! But also filled with foreboding joy.

There's the first stage. You've finally 'finished' your draft. It's beautiful and shining and ready to take on the world. You've decided the best way to midwife this sucker into the arms of millions of readers is to find an agent who thinks your work is brilliant and doesn't hate you too much.

You shuffle around the internet and make an involved and lengthy list of literary agents you just know will go ape for your darling book. You then spend an inordinate amount of time scoping out their credentials to see which one is the perfect match. It's kind of like online dating, minus the creep factor.

Okay, if there's a chance that anyone's creepy, it's you. That's beside the point.

Try to get to know the agent as well as you can (without being creepy), before querying them.

Then send out queries for days and weeks while also maintaining some semblance of your normal life. Sick days are not allowed for the intrepid writer.

Being testy with your loved ones who irk you to no end about how your writing process is going is also not allowed. They are, afterall, merely Muggles. You must forgive them.

After all the queries have been sent out it's time to sit back and access other important things in life. Otherwise known as "Waiting Impatiently".

In the end you will hopefully have found an agent that adores both you and your work. Or maybe just your work.