Everything & Nothing

Last week I was laid off from the full-time artist position I had held for almost seven years.

No more walking by a screen of Zombie George Washington. Sigh. Such a charmer.

I could say I was completely shocked, and in some ways I was, but in reality I saw it coming. That doesn't mean it didn't hit me like a ton of bricks when I was called to meet with HR and saw that my boss was there as well.

I'm not ashamed to say that I bawled like a baby in the meeting. I was consoled by several facts: it wasn't because of the quality of my work, I was getting a nice severance, and they were open to being references for any new position I applied for.

I've spent the past week riding the extreme highs and lows. On the + side, I am no longer working in a negative environment that was as one person put it "slowly eating away at my soul", and I am now free to pursue some things that I really love.

On the - side of things, I'll miss some of my coworkers. Some of them I will still see around, and it's not like it's the end of the world. The day to day will be different without them. I'll miss hearing Brian cussing a blue streak, Mark running to his phone, and Heather being wonderfully and hilariously snarky.

All things considered, this actually feels-dare I say?- good. I've been on the phone every day with the employment office and finally got everything figured out and settled today which is a huge weight off my shoulders. I've had a lot of people come out of the wood work to check on me, give me advice, be a shoulder to cry on, etc. Reminding me that I'm not as alone as I sometimes feel, and that I have a support group that most people would be envious of.

And one very judgmental cat.

In fact, I had already made plans with my buddies Shannon and Dottie to have a high gothic tea party on Sunday. I didn't want to cancel because it had been SO LONG since I've gotten to see the gorgeous Shannon. In fact, the last time Dottie and I had a tea party was before Shannon moved to Montana! In other words, it was long over due. I needed something positive to look forward too as well, and if you are ever down and out, may I suggest getting your two favorite Aries pals to lift your spirits? Lemme tell ya, it works! Shannon came Saturday evening and we stayed up late catching up and pulling tarot cards and drinking bucket loads of hot tea. Sunday we had our tea party, mostly provided by Dottie. (Scones! Tea cakes! Deliciousness!) I provided the mismatched tea settings and some Orange Crush flavored Twizzlers. Hilarity and awesomeness ensued.

The Spread! *Drools*

I had also finally got a perfume in the mail I'd ordered long before I had any hints of The Impending Doom. I had been coveting it since first smelling it at a Light Year's store in the mall years ago. It sat waiting in my Amazon Wish List when I finally bit the bullet and purchased it. It's still as amazing as it was at first whiff, and appropriately titled "Everything & Nothing". Which has become my theme for this past week. I've been wearing it while formulating my multiple To-Do lists and fielding a thousand phone calls. It's been a reminder to me that, while it may seem like I have nothing, I actually have everything I need.

"Everything & Nothing" by Colin Johnson. Via Colossal. 2014.

Serendipitously, as I was researching artists to feature for a Perspective Daily article, I came across the work of Colin Johnson who created a "hyper collage" entitled: Everything & Nothing. Talk about good timing.

So in the end I could be really bitter about losing my job. I could be bitter about the raises and training I didn't get. I could be bitter about how things were handled. In fact, I could be bitter about a whole mess of things. But what's the good in that?

In the end nothing is exactly everything I ever asked for.